I’m at Willow Creek Community Church this week, attending a conference. I really don’t like it here.

I don’t hate Willow. I like Willow. I like their goals of reaching people and training churches. That’s all good. I just feel so uncomfortable when I’m in the building. I think it must just be me. In my job, I regularly attended conferences, so I’m rather jaded, I suppose.

But there’s something else going on. I’m feeling so awkward now around wealth, I guess. I notice big houses more than I used to, I notice expensive furnishings and how people spend their money. It’s not comfortable to be this way. I feel like a poor man trapped in a rich man’s body.

So why am I here? I’m not really sure. Our director of programming approached me and offered to have the church pay for the registration fee. I knew that it would still cost me a bundle for transportation and lodging…but when she said this, I felt God saying that he would cover the rest of the cost. He did, too.

So that’s why I’m here, because I got the idea that God wanted me here. So I’m just guessing as to the specific goals God has — which is kind of typical. I decided that maybe there’s someone around I need to meet. I’ve already met a couple of young guys in ministry, so maybe that’s what it’s about for me.

Which makes it ok to be here. I’m just stumbling along with my eyes open. Me, a rich guy on the outside, being with other rich people, funded by rich people, at a rich church. I feel so out of place that I wonder if it shows.

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