The Leaping Machine

I am in no way a fan of treadmills but after nine hours cramped in a bumpy vehicle I hit the hotel’s gym to find a “leaping machine” (though mother tells me it is really an elliptical machine, boooring!). Apparently the owners didn’t think about putting a light switch where one could find it so I practiced leaping in the dusky glow. Now, the only way to do this properly is if one hums the Star Wars theme song as one charges. The journey feels like slow running at the pinnacle of a movie, except that the hero gets his foot stuck in a rabbit burrow with every step. If one wants to avoid the fall, it’s always best to make sure the blades are actually on the machine, but that’s what moms are for. In any case I recommend elliptical machines, but only if one can hum Star Wars or at least think about heroic deeds.